What are we having? Momma with a side of crazy!

“How are you making them?”

This question almost pissed me off as much as when he said, 2 days prior, “Can you pick me up a potato when you are out?” 

I cook.  I actually, really enjoy cooking and I am good at it.  I am no great chef, I am not some culinary wizard, but I can cook a damn good meal and have everything finish at the same time.   The Hub, he can cook also.  He cooks a pretty good breakfast.  He has cooked dinners, and they are good. He is not so good at having everything done at the same time, but he just needs some practice.  

I prepare all the meals for my family.  Breakfast is usually very easy, and requires, at the most, a toaster and/or a pan for waffles, eggs, precooked sausage, pancakes, french toast or cereal.  I prepare breakfast for the kids.  The Hub is usually long gone when the kids are having breakfast.   The only thing left from him is his dirty breakfast pan and dishes.  Lunch is very easy since it is just me and Little One.  Little One LOVES noodle soup, pb&j and bologna and cheese, easy stuff.  He used to be so much more difficult only because he had a food sensitivity to rice and oats.... I know!  But for the first 2.5 years of his life if he had anything with rice or oats in them he would projectile vomit, while having diarrhea at the same time and then sleep for an hour.  It was scary and an extremely rare problem known as FPIES.  (Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome) But that is a whole other blog.

Dinner.  Dinner is the one thing that I love to cook and serve.  It is also the one meal that causes me the most angst and frustration. One major problem I have is during the prep of dinner, I usually have First Born, Little One and Dog, up my ass.  

They want snacks.... “No, I am making dinner.”  

They want drinks, “Fine, but only water or milk.”  

They want me to put in another dvd, “Just watch what you are watching now!” 

Little One needs me to wipe him.  “You are getting to be a big boy and you need to do that yourself.  WASH YOUR HANDS!”  

I tend to get into a zone when cooking.  I like the challenge of doing as much prep work so that when the actual cooking starts, I can jump right in.  I also love crock pot meals.  They are usually very tasty and I love that they cook all day and make the house smell good. I make a damn good pot roast in the crock pot.  I usually make the pot roast without potatoes because the boys don’t like potatoes.  I pour the pot roast over egg noodles.  That way I can leave some noodles plain and the boys will eat them that way.

The Hub has repeatedly asked why I do it this way, and I explain it to him.... every time.  Mind you, he loves the pot roast, just wants it with potatoes.  I have thrown potatoes in there before, just for him. But we rarely have potatoes in the house.  We haven’t had pot roast in some time because we were trying to get away from red meat.  But since then, I have found some good organic, grass fed beef, that I will cook on occasion.  I prepped the pot roast early one Sunday morning. I chopped the veggies, crush the garlic, mix the tomato soup, Worcestershire sauce and mustard, then brown the meat before I put it in the pot.    The Hub was right there in the kitchen with me.  He asks, “Do we have any potatoes?”  It took all I could not to stab him with a fork.  “Nope,” I said.  Then as the day went on and the yummy smells of the pot roast wafted throughout the house, I had to run out to a wellness seminar that my friend was doing.  It was going to be gone for about an hour.  As I was leaving, The Hub says, “Can you pick me up a potato while you are out?”   My response was calm, cool and collected....“WHAT?  Seriously, you want me to go buy you a fucking potato?  I am making it with noodles!”   

“What is wrong with getting me a potato?  I don’t want you to do anything with it. I will nuke it and put the pot roast over it.  What is the big deal?”, he answered with all the exasperation of my 9 year old.  

I hated him so much right then.  I seriously wanted to gouge out his eye balls.  What the fuck do I cook for?  No one appreciates it.  My sons act as if I am poisoning them.  Their reactions to new foods is comical.  First Born always hated tying new food.  Little One will eat anything you put in front of him, unless First Born is around. Then he usually takes his cues from his older brother.  My husband likes my cooking.  But it always pisses me off when he adds salt before even tasting it, or how he always has to have bread. And God forbid I make a meal without meat!  

When I got home... with a potato.... he was sitting on the couch in front of the big screen that my extremely generous, parents got us for Christmas.  He hardly ever watched TV, before this Christmas.  Now I come home, the house is a mess, and he is watching TV.  As much as I love the new TV, I hate it!  As I was getting dinner ready,  he started to say something about not being hungry.  The look I gave him advised him otherwise.  And yes, the mo-fo microwaved the potato and put his pot roast over it.  Whatthefuckever!  

A few days later, we were talking on the phone while he was at work.  We were trying to coordinate a dinner time, when I told him that we were having pork chops.  “How are you making them?” He asked.   I did not like this question.  I was going to bread them and bake them, but seriously did not want to tell him that. I felt he lost all privileges to know how I was going to make them.  Especially if he had another suggestion as to how he wanted them prepared.  He then said, “Can’t you just sauté them in a pan with a little oil?”  Why, yes.  Yes I can, if you want to eat the most bland, un-flavorful,non tasting, pork chop ever.  He then informed me that he did not want it breaded.  But breaded is the only way the boys will eat them.  When we sat at dinner that night, and I handed him the pork chop that I made for him, not breaded. It was not good.  I tried some recipe on allrecipes that seemed good, but it wasn’t.   I was about to jump on him like a spider monkey if he asked for a breaded one.  He sensed this.  He did not ask.  

I don’t know, maybe it is just me.  But if someone was making my meals for me, on an almost daily basis, I would not suggest ways to cook it.  I would say Thank You.  Thank you for preparing my dinner, with love and care.  Thank you for picking out the things that all of us like, so that we can sit together and eat.  Thank you for taking the time and effort to consider what would make EVERYONE at the Friggin table happy.  Thank you for not being selfish and only preparing foods you like.  Thank you for considering the nutritional value of our meals.  THANK YOU! 

So the next time someone prepares you a meal. Just say, Thank You.  And if you have suggestions for how to improve the meal, try them out on your own.  Especially if you are dealing with a crazy wife who has only so much patience to go around.  

Crazy Wife + Meal Preparations = "Thank You". 

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Momma O's Wisdom. Preached (not always practiced!)

Here is a randomly numbered list of things that I have learned, am learning and will never learn.  All good, sound words of wisdom, from my brain to your eyes..... Good Luck.

1.  Confidence does not mean being “full of yourself.”  It is quiet and restrained and it’s presence is a comforting feeling for all involved.  

2.  NO one is looking at you! I mean, people see you and acknowledge you, but they aren’t examining you like you do to yourself.  Think about it.  When you look at someone, do you go over every detail of their person?  Do you obsess over the wrinkle in their brow or the way that their shoes match their hat?  

3.  Don’t worry about what other’s may think of the way you look.  Dress up or don’t, put on makeup or don’t, fix your hair or don’t. Either way, do what YOU want to, at any given moment.  Don’t fall into a routine of doing things just because it is what you always do.  If you want to put makeup on to go to the grocery store, but you never do that, do it anyway.  If you want to go to the mall in yoga pants but you never go out dressed that casual, do it anyway.  Don’t over analyze, just do what you feel.  

4.  Stop concentrating on what you do wrong and focus on the things you are good at.  I hate laundry, but my family never goes without clean clothes. No, I may not be organized, but it all gets done, one way or another.  

5.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  This doesn’t mean hurting others.  Know what to say and WHEN to say it.  There are times that my mouth just keeps going and going and going.  (hence this blog) I struggle with that.  But I am learning that there is some power in keeping thoughts and opinions to yourself.  That way you can organize them and reserve judgement until all the facts are presented.

6.  DON’T Bullshit.  Don’t put things out there that you don’t want to come back, because it always comes back! 

7.  When in doubt shave your legs, pits and hoo-haa.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the shower, and debated what was going to be exposed before my next shower.  When trying to figure out what had to be shaved, I have always guessed wrong.  

8.  Pay your debts and control spending. Yes, you/your children/your husband may deserve a big ticket item, but when you pay for it with money you don’t have, you will not be happy.  You will feel worse.  Which will make you look for something that makes you feel better and the cycle continues. This goes for food too.  Just replace the first sentence with “Exercise and control eating.” Replace ‘big ticket item’ with ‘Cheese Steak Stromboli.’  Go ahead, I will wait.

9.  Keep your shit together and when you don’t, and you really screw up, OWN it.  Apologize to whomever you need to and move on.  Don’t dwell in it. Don’t make ridiculous excuses and remember that no one is perfect.  This can be hard, but it is worth it.  

10.  Get help. Don’t hold it in.  No matter what it’s form, therapy, exercise, talking with a friend, a prescription...  But when you unleash your shit onto someone that is NOT a professional, make sure it is NOT the same person every time.  It can wear them down and burden them unnecessarily.  Spread the love and let someone else listen to your problems.  You will be surprised who has the same problems and you can help each other. 

11.  You ARE special but so is everyone else.  Remember that everyone has their own journey.  Everyone has their own, very colorful, baggage.  Some carry that baggage opened up and out in front of them and some may be hiding that ugly shit way, way in the back.  Don’t judge them for they way that they carry it or what is in it.  Most of the time they did not pack those bags.  

12.  As my good friend has said, Live Out Loud.  Stop apologizing for being you.  If you don’t like something CHANGE it.  You can talk it out, and analyze how you are going to change it, but don’t keep complaining.  Don’t wait for someone else to come along and do it for you.  That is no ones job but your own!  

13.  Be there for your friends and loved ones, but don’t fix their shit!  If they ask for help in fixing something, help.  If they need a hand, offer it, but it is not not not your responsibility to make them all right.  

14.  Do it because you WANT to.  If your intent in helping someone is just to help them and the reward of that help is the great feeling you get, go for it.   Don’t do things thinking you are owed something in return.  This will always leave you disappointed.

15.  Make your own rules.  Put on your big girl panties and stop worrying about what your mother/father/husband/sister/brother/neighbor/most favorite blogger would do.  Do what you feel and you will be surprised at how much more respect you get.  

There you have it.  Please, leave some more words of wisdom in the comments section below and make sure you pass this on so someone else can join in. 

Sympathy for the Devil

The Hub handed me the newspaper this morning and said, “You gotta see this one.  Read the Corbett article and my comments!”  He handed me the Philadelphia Inquirer with the second article on the front page reading, Penn State sanctions ‘unlawful’ by Amy Worden.  The article had paragraphs and sentences underlined and circled, in blue bic pen, by The Hub along with his profanity filled handwritten comments. The Hub had some really good comments and I am going to add some of my own. Here is a digital copy of said article.

Did you read that?   If not here is a synopsis.  Corbett is going to use taxpayer money to sue the NCAA for the sanctions they issued on Penn State.  They issued these sanctions after Jerry Sandusky raped young boys in Penn State Football facilities during and after Penn State officials were warned about his behavior, yet continued to enable him.

This lawsuit is coming from Corbett who is a member of the Penn State Board of Trustees.  Conflict of interest maybe?  His complaint is that Penn State and the local Penn State businesses may lose money!  MAY lose money.  The only statistic provided was from “Michael Desmond, a State College business owner.... said his seven restaurants were doing 10 percent less business on football weekends...”  Boo F-ing Hoo!  

Hey, I have an idea. Instead of suing the NCAA, why not sue the estates of Jerry Sandusky, Graham Spanier, Tim Curley all others that were directly involved in the raping of boys and the covering up of those rapes.  All those big tough guys who turned a blind eye to what Jerry Sandusky was doing as they let him have access to the locker rooms, game tickets, and preferential treatment. They did NOTHING when getting reports of Sandusky acting “inappropriately” with children.   Sue THEM so that the local businesses can recoup their money.  It was THIER fault that they committed perjury, conspiracy, and endangered the welfare of children.  As representatives of Penn State Football, the NCAA had every right to come down hard on them.    

This attitude that the fallout (i.e. NCAA sanctions of Penn State), of these crimes are hurting the ‘innocent’, (i.e. the local businesses and students),  is exactly the point.  No, these businesses did nothing wrong.  No, these students did nothing wrong.  Will they feel the effect?  Absolutely.  Should they seek justice?  That is their INDIVIDUAL right.   They should go after those that caused the sanctions in the first place, not the NCAA.  The NCAA was the judge who issued the sentence, not the perp who did the crime.  Why is the state going to foot the bill for suing the NCAA? All of the sudden the State has this concern for the innocent victims of these sanctions.  Conveniently 6 months after the sanctions were imposed, conveniently after football season?

It is highly suspect that Corbett is filing this lawsuit in support of all these wealthy business owners and Penn State Board of Trustees, in a year before an election.   It will also go over really well with the angry alumni that he is going after the big bad NCAA and all their power.  While that may be needed at some point in time, this is not that time.  All of this and the REAL innocent victims - those children who were tortured and raped by Jerry Sandusky and were further tortured by those who knew and did nothing to help them - are being ignored, again.  Does he really want to drag these rape victims and their families through this scandal another time, so that he can win some high powered votes?  Well, it looks that way.  

Hey, Penn State is not hurting for money, too much. They just gave Graham Spanier $3.3 Million after he was forced to resign.   He is under indictment for gross misconduct at Penn State and they just gave him a severance package?   Yet the victims of Jerry Sandusky have not gotten any recompense.  WTF!   

So I don’t have any sympathy for Penn State or it’s Board of Trustees (Tom Corbett).  They made their bed, now they have to lie in it.  It shouldn’t be too hard for them.  They have been in bed with much, much worse.